AGAIN?

Because I am in pain more then I am not I went in to see my knee Doctor on Friday January 27th. I have gone in several times explaining the same pain, the same spot, the same everything. Each time he would tell me, "it's part of the healing process." Well, after beginning to think I was either A. Crazy or B. Going to live with pain for ever ... they FINALLY after 7 long months, found the problem. I have a cyst on the graft. It's the size of a pea
(which he said is big for a graft) it's causing my graft to detach.

NEXT, another 3T MRI was scheduled and then a follow up with my Ortho. When I went back I was hopeful that it would be an easy fix. Well... good news and bad news! The graft is in the bone. It may be fixable with a bone stimulator so, that was ordered next!!! I was told to wear the stimulator for 6 weeks and if that works then YIPPEE in not...I will have a new graft. Surgery AGAIN? I don't know how much more my body, my family and my life can handle. I'm thankful for my legs but some days, I wonder how it would feel to run or jump again.

...Human Life Day...

Sunday Jan 22, 2012 was Human Life Day. It was also the day I would be introduced as a pro life coordinator for God and Good Shepherd. I am really excited about this adventure and I want to remember every inch of it SO, until I get another blog made I will be documenting here!

The speech I spoke in hopes to bring attention to this horrible situation:

In the next seven days nearly 20,000 babies will be killed legally in the United States.
Let that sink in a minute... in that minute, 3 more will be killed.

The mission of the Pregnancy Resource Center is to reach women, men and families in an unplanned pregnancy that are contemplating abortion. Your support of the PRC provides confidential and free of charge services to all.

Please pray that this stops and let's pray for the courage and compassion to be part of the solution.

So, there ya have it... short, sweet and to the point!

Because I have 3...I am open to any and all advice!

25 Rules for Mothers of Sons

1. Teach him the words for how he feels.

Your son will scream out of frustration and hide out of embarrassment. He'll cry from fear and bite out of excitement. Let his body move by the emotion, but also explain to him what the emotion is and the appropriate response to that emotion for future reference. Point out other people who are feeling the same thing and compare how they are showing that emotion. Talk him through your emotions so that someday when he is grown, he will know the difference between angry and embarrassed; between disappointment and grief.

2. Be a cheerleader for his life.

There is no doubt that you are the loudest person in the stands at his t-ball games. There is no doubt that he will tell you to "stop, mom" when you sing along to his garage band's lyrics. There is no doubt that he will get red-faced when you show his prom date his pictures from boy scouts. There is no doubt that he is not telling his prom date about your blog where you've been bragging about his life from his first time on the potty to the citizenship award he won in ninth grade. He will tell you to stop. He will say he's embarrassed. But he will know that there is at least one person that is always rooting for him.

3. Teach him how to do laundry...

...and load the dishwasher, and iron a shirt. He may not always choose to do it. He may not ever have to do it. But someday his wife will thank you.

4. Read to him and read with him.

Emilie Buchwald said, "Children become readers on the laps of their parents." Offer your son the opportunity to learn new things, believe in pretend places, and imagine bigger possibilities through books. Let him see you reading...reading the paper, reading novels, reading magazine articles. Help him understand that writing words down is a way to be present forever. Writers are the transcribers of history and memories. They keep a record of how we lived at that time; what we thought was interesting; how we spoke to each other; what was important. And Readers help preserve and pass along those memories.

5. Encourage him to dance.

Dance, rhythm, and music are cultural universals. No matter where you go, no matter who you meet - they have some form of the three. It doesn't have to be good. Just encourage your son that when he feels it, it's perfectly fine to go ahead and bust a move.

6. Make sure he has examples of good men who are powerful because of their brains, their determination, and their integrity.

The examples of men with big muscles and a uniform (like Batman and LaMarr Woodley) will surround your son from birth. But make sure he also knows about men who kick a$s because of their brains (Albert Einstein), and their pen (Mark Twain), and their words (Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.), and their determination (Team Hoyt), and their ideas (The Wright Brothers), and their integrity (Officer Frank Shankwitz), and fearlessness (Neil Armstrong), and their ability to keep their mouths closed when everyone else is screaming (Jackie Robinson).

7. Make sure he has examples of women who are beautiful because of their brains, their determination, and their integrity.

The examples of traditionally beautiful women (like Daphne Blake, Princess Jasmine, and Britney Spears) will surround your son from birth. But make sure he knows about women who are beautiful from the inside out because of their brains (Madame Marie Curie), and their pen (Harper Lee), and their words (Eleanor Roosevelt), and their determination (Anne Sullivan), and their ideas (Oprah Winfrey), and their integrity (Miep Gies), and fearlessness (Ameila Earhart), and their ability to open their mouths and take a stand when everyone else is silent (Aung San Suu Ky

8. Be an example of a beautiful woman with brains, determination, and integrity.

You already are all of those things. If you ever fear that you are somehow incapable of doing anything - remember this: If you have done any of the following: a) grew life b) impossibly and inconceivably got it out of your body c) taken care of a newborn d) made a pain go away with a kiss e) taught someone to read f) taught a toddler to eat with a utensil g) cleaned up diarrhea without gagging h) loved a child enough to be willing to give your life for them (regardless if they are your own) or i) found a way to be strong when that child is suffering...you are a superhero. do not doubt yourself for one second. Seriously.

9. Teach him to have manners.

Because its nice. and it will make the world a little better of a place.

10. Give him something to believe in.

Because someday he will be afraid, or nervous, or heartbroken, or lost, or just need you, and you won't be able to be there. Give him something to turn to when it feels like he is alone, so that he knows that he will never be alone; never, never, never.

11. Teach him that there are times when you need to be gentle.

Like with babies, and flowers, and animals, and other people's feelings.

12. Let him ruin his clothes.

Resolve to be cool about dirty and ruined clothes. You'll be fighting a losing battle if you get upset every time he ruins another piece of clothing. Don't waste your energy being angry about something inevitable. Boys tend to learn by destroying, jumping, spilling, falling, and making impossible messes. Dirty, ruined clothes are just par for the course.

13. Learn how to throw a football...

...or how to use a hockey stick, or read music, or draw panda bears, or the names of different train engines, or learn to speak Elvish, or recognize the difference between Gryffindor and Slytherin, or the lyrics to his favorite song. Be in his life, not as an observer but as an active participant.

14. Go outside with him.

Turn off the television, unplug the video games, put your cellphone on the charger, even put your camera away. Just go outside and follow him around. Watch his face, explore his world, and let him ask questions. It's like magic.

15. Let him lose.

Losing sucks. Everybody isn't always a winner. Even if you want to say, "You're a winner because you tried," don't. He doesn't feel like a winner, he feels sad and crappy and disappointed. And that's a good thing, because sometimes life also sucks, no matter how hard (as moms) we try to make it not suck for our kids. This practice will do him good later when he loses again (and again, and again, and again, and again.....) Instead make sure he understands that - sometimes you win - sometimes you lose. But that doesn't mean you ever give up.

16. Give him opportunities to help others.

There is a big difference in giving someone the opportunity to help and forcing someone to help. Giving the opportunity lights a flame in the heart and once the help is done the flame shines brighter and asks for more opportunities. Be an example of helping others in your own actions and the way your family helps each other and helps others together.

17. Remind him that practice makes perfect.

This doesn't just apply to performance-based activities (like sports and music) but also applies to everything in life. You become a better writer by writing. You become a better listener by listening. You become better speaker by speaking. Show your son this when he is just young enough to understand (that means from birth, folks - they are making sense of the world as soon as they arrive), practice trick-or-treating at your own front door before the real thing. Practice how you will walk through airport security before a trip. Practice how you order your own food from the fast food cashier. Practice, practice, practice.

18. Answer him when he asks, "Why?"

Answer him, or search for the answer together. Show him the places to look for the answers (like his dad, or grandparents, or his aunts/uncles, or his books, or valid internet searches). Pose the question to him so he can begin thinking about answers himself. Someday, when he needs to ask questions he's too embarrassed to ask you - he'll know where to go to find the right answers.

19. Always carry band-aids and wipes on you.

Especially the wipes.

20. Let his dad teach him how to do things...

without interrupting about how to do it the 'right way.' If you let his dad show and teach and discover with your son while he is growing up, some day down the road (after a short period of your son believing his dad knows nothing), he will come to the realization that his dad knows everything. You will always be his mother, but in his grown-up man heart and mind, his dad will know the answers. And this will be how, when your son is too busy with life to call and chat with his mom, you will stay connected to what is happening in his life. Because he will call his dad for answers, and his dad will secretly come and ask you.

21. Give him something to release his energy.

Drums, a pen, a punching bag, wide open space, water, a dog. Give him something to go crazy with - or he will use your stuff. and then you'll be sorry.

22. Build him forts.

Forts have the ability to make everyday normal stuff into magic. Throw the couch cushions, a couple blankets, and some clothespins and you can transform your living room into the cave of wonders. For the rest of his life, he'll be grateful to know that everyday normal stuff has the potential to be magical.

23. Take him to new places.

Because it will make his brain and his heart open up wider, and the ideas and questions and memories will rush in.

24. Kiss Him.

Any mother of sons will tell you that little boys are so loving and sweet. They can be harsh and wild and destructive during most of the day. But there are these moments when they are so kind and sensitive and tender. So much so that it can cause you to look around at the inward, reserved grown men in your life and think, 'what happens in between that made you lose that?' Let's try to stop the cycle by kissing them when they're loving and kissing them even more when they're wild. Kissing them when they're 2 months and kissing them when they're 16 years old. You're the mom - you can go ahead and kiss him no matter how big he gets - and make sure he knows it. p.s. (this one is just as important for dad's too).

25. Be Home Base.

You are home to him. When he learns to walk, he will wobble a few feet away from you and then come back, then wobble away a little farther and then come back. When he tries something new, he will look for your proud smile. When he learns to read, he will repeat the same book to you twenty times in a row, because you're the only one who will listen that many times. When he plays his sport, he will search for your face in the stands. When he is sick, he will call you. When he really messes up, he will call you. When he is grown and strong and tough and big and he feels like crying, he will come to you; because a man can cry in front of his mother without feeling self-conscious. Even when he grows up and has a new woman in his life and gets a new home, you are still his mother; home base, the ever constant, like the sun. Know that in your heart and everything else will fall into place.

"I wanna play...

Pirates of the CARROT Bein'"

Another post on LIFE according to Jensen!!!!

He spoke, I listened...

Sunday, the day I look forward to all week. It's a day of worship, family and rest.

Today was an unusually different Sunday for me. It was an emotional, beautiful, amazing, phenomenal day!!! Besides giving birth to my boys, marrying Ben and gaining Jensen... it was THE MOST astounding day I have EVER had.

The day started out as any other Sunday. I woke up, had some coffee, got ready and headed to church (one of my favorite places). While listening to the Pastor Christine's message today, I was irritated. I was mad because I wasn't getting anything out of it, I caught myself thinking about home, work, laundry, what I would make for dinner etc. and then it hit me as clear as day...

I felt God sit down next to me,

he grabbed my hand and said

"I am here with you and I love you."

I listened to a woman that I adore, that I look up to and cherish. A woman that came into my life at the perfect moment, I just didn't know it until today. She is Pastor Christine Nelson. If you know her, consider yourself blessed. If you don't, you need to!

Before I go on, I need to back track and tell you about two experiences I have had. Two separate people, two separate babies, two separate situations but ONE God by their side before, during and after.

In March 2010 I became friends with one of my biggest enemies. We grew close and our friendship became like non other all because of a baby. This baby was soon to be placed for adoption. The most admirable decision I have ever witnessed but one of the saddest as well. Not that I think adoption is sad, but it is... What a sacrifice for a Mother to make, one that you could only do with the help of God.

In the mean time I met a girl that I loved from the get go, one night she called me and said that she was pregnant and she was placing the baby for adoption. My immediate thought was"can I support and befriend someone in this situation again?"

Selfish? maybe. Under educated?absolutely.

I remember praying different prayers at different times for these girls, their babies and the families on both ends and I remember asking God "why had he wanted me to be a part of this? Why was I feeling so compelled to learn from these girls? Why?" Two years have gone by and today... HE finally answered.

Back to today, Pastor Christine was telling us about the Pregnancy Resource Center / PRC. The PRC is a corporation that helps both guys and girls who are unprepared for pregnancy learn their options. They provide counsel, practical resource, referrals and so much more.

Pregnancy Resource Center has helped over 1,600 clients and they continue to receive help at no cost.

NO COST? Here is when it was starting to make sense. And then Pastor Christine went on to talk about Karen and the role she passionately played for the PRC, and then it hit me... Karen. The Karen, Pastor Christine spoke about today has terminal cancer. They more I heard the harder I cried. I cried because I knew in my heart I am supposed to help. After the message I cried tears of joy because I knew what I needed to do.

I waited until church was over and I went straight to Pastor Christine. My plan was that I would tell her I want to help anyway I can. I wanted to make her aware that I feel very passionate about this situation and when I got in front of her I opened my mouth and God spoke...NOT me, God... I blurt out, "I want to take her place," I want to carry this on in Good Shepherd, I want to take over for Karen and I know this is right because, God told me today. He has been planning and teaching me about a passion that I love and today he put his plan into place. I am so lucky. Lucky to have God and Lucky to follow in Karen's foot steps.

I don't know what this chapter of my life entails just yet but... I can assure you, I will not leave you hanging. If you wanna follow my amazing new ride, jump on. I'd love to have you. I'll need your love but most of all your support!

I'm so thankful to my Father in Heaven for giving birth to my purpose in life on this day!

Amen

Because...

...NOTHING tastes as good as skinny FEELS, Ben and I decided it's time to start a

We are having a competition... who can lose 20lbs the fastest!He is doing...I am doing a little...

and cutting out junk food and soda pop!
Wish me luck... everyone says guys lose faster BUT, I am confident that I will win and either way, we are BOTH going to be SMOKIN' HOT!!!

Jack says the darndest...

Just a couple more things outta the mouth of Jack....

Mom: "Jack are you finished eating your pop corn?"
Jack: "I am just finishing the kennels (kernels) Mom!"

Jack: "I have the best dea (idea)"

He always makes me SMILE, and that is what life is all about!!!!!

New Years Eve and Day, twenty TWELVE? Wait...

... where did ELEVEN go? We had a lot of fun this year, we do every year... we play, drink, eat, drink, play, and got to bed all by 11:00!!! We change our clocks and celebrate the new year with fireworks and all the jazz, the kids love it and they are SUCKERED every year!!!


This year during new years eve DAY, we went shooting with my Dad, Kim and Lori!

Later... Brady, Ashely & Thomas came over for a BBQ (in January???) some drinks, some Michael Jackson on the XBox, some FIREWORKS and lot's of FUN!

Ash can do a mean Billy Jean... and an even meaner THRILLER!!!I tried...

...but I could only master the CROTCH GRAB!

Jensen had a BLAST...

Tommy had a blast...

and they all got a work out!

Even Jaden wasn't too cool to play!
Ash and I knew how to start (or by the looks of our faces) continue to party!

Here's to a NEW YEAR...

haha... have ANOTHER,

and ANOTHER!!!

Jaden and Jensen played with sparklers while we BBQ'd!

We hope everyone had a safe and happy NEW YEAR!

CHRISTmas 2011

This year I wanted to really remember the reason for CHRISTMAS is in fact... CHRIST! I wanted to "give" to those in need and "forgive" those I haven't! I feel like I did just that! Every "pan handler" or "bell ringer" received some of my cash and I am PROUD! I felt CHRIST like in almost every decision I made in December! I have BIGger plans for next year but I am happy to say I have 11 months to plan!!! With all that said, we had an AMAZING CHRISTmas this year! As you know from prior posts, Ben and I were prepared 100%!!! We had purchased everything (well, almost everything) that the kids asked for! I had a HUGE surprise up my sleeve for Ben and little did I know... he had one up his for me too! *I love that guy*
CHRISTmas eve was as traditional as always! Relax, clean, change sheets, open our CHRISTmas eve (always NEW jammies) presents... (NO picture of Jackee :( He spends CHRISTmas eve day with his Daddy, Sarah & his Sissys)
...get all dressed up and head to CHURCH!!! The candlelight service at Good Shepherd Lutheran is and always has been my FAVORITE part of CHRISTmas! For whatever reason... I didn't get a picture of all of us all decked out together.

CHRISTmas morning was awesome! Although I missed having my Parents there (Dad woke up late and Mom worked) to watch the kids open gifts, it was nice to do it as a little family! Here are a bunch of pictures of the GLORIOUS day!

Jaden, bright eyed (always) at 5:30 am!

Jackee bum, cuter then cute!

Jensen Dean, ready to head out into the cold, I mean... WARM!For over a month I had an empty box wrapped under the tree in hope I'd throw Ben off my trail!

After he opened the box I think he knew what was in store...I was so excited I could hardley stand it... from the minute I put the down payment on this (4th child of ours) gun, I was dying to tell him!

4 boys... 3 guns... a scooter ...AND...

a VERY proud Mom!Another GUN picture!Jensen "DING" got the mustaches he asked for! Miss Matis got a new bed, a new baby and some treats from Santa!

(Her God Mom's spoiled her ROTTEN!!!)Jaden finally got the PRO (not just any old scooter) scooter he had been DREAMING of!!!Jack and his FAVORITE present... (not even real) pop gun!Ben and I were SPOILED to say the least. PLUS... the surprise he had up his sleeve... NOT ONLY did he shop on BLACK FRIDAY but, he bought me the Cannon Camera I wanted!

Yard tools are my FAVORITE......Next to COOKING things!Jaden's Stash!Jack's Stash!Jensen's Stash!OH YA, and... on CHRISTmas eve, eve... Ben and I bought this for our family! We hope your CHRISTmas was full of CHRIST and as amazing as ours!